All posts by Jules Nelson

"But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19 KJV If ever there was a verse that could describe me? This verse would be it. I grew up in a large family of 5 brothers and 1 sister. Add in an honorary sister and brother, who joined our family before I was born and you have a wonderful childhood. I watch everything that goes on around me and think constantly. Until now, I have lovingly told these cherished memories and thoughts to only the closest of friends. I love my God... I love my family.. I love my friends.. and I love to laugh!
Life, Writing

My poor cup..

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My cup runneth over…

I always tell people that you can’t write about life .. if you aren’t out there living it. So I am out there.. living life. But life isn’t just exploring, meeting new people, learning, having a good time, and laughing. Sometimes it is fixing things, moving households, comforting loved ones and saying good-bye. But I wouldn’t give up the “good” living to avoid the “sad”.

In fact… If my life was a cup? It would overflow frequently with all sorts of emotions.. all sorts of activities.. all forms of life…

For the last couple months, my cup has indeed been very full. My “living” consisted of hard work and a busy schedule as we prepared to perform Seussical the Musical at our High School.. During this time, my daughter found that Dr. Seuss must have agreed with our family’s philosophy.. because she found this among his many famous quotes…

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”  Dr. Seuss

But sometimes I cram too much living into a small amount of time.. Or Life comes crashing into my schedule and overwhelms it. This month? My cup was definitely running over with Life. As much as I tried to stay organized.. YES you guessed it.. IF you came to my house during the Seussical shows, you would have found piles.. Sewing piles.. laundry piles.. paperwork piles… Chaos! All organized chaos.. but chaos just the same.

As Christians, we constantly tell ourselves and remind others that God only gives us what we can handle. Sometimes we wear it like a badge.. sometimes I use it as a cattle prod.. (to get myself out of good book… Or out of bed… or to leave that glorious sunshine.. to get back to work)… but sometimes I think we get stuck on “accepting” God’s Will for us.. Kind of like a “stop your whining” reminder.. I find myself forgetting that God sent a model for us when our Life Cup floweth over.

God sent us Jesus to model for us what He expects… When Jesus was not looking forward to the hard work that His Father had set before Him? Jesus was overwhelmed!! Jesus knelt in prayer and cried out to His Heavenly Father…

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Luke 22:42 NIV

This was not Jesus whining about hard work.. or whining because He knew He was about to die for our sins. No. This was Jesus being overwhelmed with the task before Him. What does this mean? This means that God says He will understand if we need to tell Him we are overwhelmed. God is giving us PERMISSION to ASK if a task can be taken away. We can ASK if He will heal a loved one.. we can ASK if He can change the Path before us.. The answer might be “No”… but it is okay to ask..

Then God shows us that He expects us to accept his Will.. accept his decision in all things. “Your will, not mine.”

God ALSO shows us through His Son that He doesn’t expect us to be strong all the time.. He expects us to fall apart when our cup runneth over with Life.. Then we have to rise.. brush off our knees.. and get back to Living.. 

 How? You ask. How do we know for sure?

“Jesus wept.” John 11:35

Jesus wept when He found that He was too late and His friend had died.. Jesus was so overwhelmed.. His cup of emotions ran right over the top… And He gave into His tears. 

This week should have been a relaxing week for me.. Our production was over.. the set cleared away… the stage clean.. Yet my calendar filled to the absolute brim.. My Life Cup filled with Activities.. Good activities… fun activities.. but definitely too many.

And then my mom called.

It seems that God called one of His children home to Him this week. While my uncle was in India.. visiting his grandson.. he had a heart attack and passed away. Now.. I imagine my uncle was one of God’s favorite children… Because he is an amazing man.. and I can imagine God couldn’t possibly wait any longer to call him home…

but still…

..still… My Uncle will be greatly missed until we see him again in Heaven.. I can see my uncle standing at the pearly gates.. inviting me in with that Great Smile of his… inviting me to stay at his mansion until mine is ready to go.. and especially offering to help me explore those streets of gold.. 

 But today? 

Today I think God will understand if my cup runneth over.. and I think God will understand if I ask that my aunt and my cousins have their cup of sadness taken from their lips… I think He’ll understand if I ask Him to pour some of those emotions into my cup.. as full as it is.. so that I might share this heavy task with them.

..but as always.. it is His will.. and not mine..

Parenting

Where is Cinderella now?

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100_0706The story of Cinderella was originally written as a scary story to tell children.. to make them behave. Then Disney came along and took all the scary parts outs. They shaped that same scary story into a beautiful fairy tale that little girls fantasize about.

The Disney version of Cinderella is such a great story of Faith. A fine example of how Hope can come from the least expected places. Because one would definitely think that a close neighbor would have noticed Cinderella’s suffering before the Prince would have. And I could see where Cinderella, herself, would doubt help was coming at all.. if her neighbors didn’t try to help when they noticed she had gone from cherished daughter to the unpaid help.

But the story of Cinderella, this Disney one, has started to take on a different meaning for me recently. A different tone.. if you will…

What changed?

Well.. I have a daughter.. (a teenaged daughter)… One that could spring into dating at any moment.. without any warning. THAT in itself would be a little terrifying.. IF I didn’t have Faith in my daughter.. as well as Faith in God to guide her…

But the story of Cinderella has unseen dangers..

You see? Cinderella meets her Prince Charming.. when she isn’t dressed as herself.. but when she is dolled up and wearing beautiful clothes… THEN they meet at a magically fancy dance and fall in love at first sight… AND THEN he rescues her and they marry immediately.

You don’t see any danger??

If you look at it from a little girl’s point of view? This says “I need to be beautiful AND dress beautifully in order to meet my Prince Charming.” BUT here? HERE I will pause… Even though I have a ton to say on this.. it isn’t the story I want to tell today…

Today I would like to point out the real danger. That danger shows itself at the end of the tale..

With the words, “Happily EVER After.” If the narrator had said, “And they rode through all of Life’s obstacles together,” or “And THEN they helped each other deal with their issues for the next 50 years,” ? THEN this story wouldn’t be scary at all.  I would love it.

Let them enjoy the fairy tale you say? Ok I did.. I read this story to my daughter for years… I quoted this Happily Ever After for years….

But now the Honey moon is over… Cinderella and Prince Charming have unpacked their baggage and are trying to fit it into their castle…

“Cinderella didn’t have any baggage, she was too poor,” you are saying? I am referring to the baggage we all carry around with us.. the issues we have.. the weaknesses .. the temptations… Telling girls that there aren’t any issues.. that you will just be happy forever after you meet the right prince? That is dangerous…

What issues could a nice girl like Cinderella have?

A young girl who doesn’t remember her Mother because she died too young? A girl who’s father married a manipulative woman… and then promptly abandoned her to that woman’s care (through his untimely death)? A childhood of hard work? A life with verbal abuse? Not to mention she talks to animals…

Yes.. Cinderella has baggage.

Ok.. ok.. so you agree that Cinderella may need some TLC.. but the Prince.. he grew up in a castle right? How could he possibly have issues?

Everyone has issues.. they are all different but everyone has issues..

I guarantee you within a few years of that fairy tale wedding..  that other glass slipper will most likely hit the wall and shatter.. Whether it is because Cinderella is sick of Charming always telling her what to do… or whether it’s Charming getting angry that Cinderella is constantly cleaning the castle instead of paying attention to him… or because Charming is always on the road and Cinderella feels abandoned… OR.. Charming no longer thinks that it’s adorable that his young wife plays with mice? I MEAN.. what WILL the neighbors think?

Alright .. BUT IF THEY LOVE EACH OTHER… then none of that should matter…

Right?!?

I agree.. it shouldn’t matter!!! If Charming and Cinderella love each other? Then they should get married ..baggage and all!!! They should even help each other carry those heavy bags..

But often that isn’t the case … Often I hear of “love at first sight” turning into… “Well I didn’t know he did that..”… or “I thought he would grow out of that,” or “she stopped taking care of herself,” OR… “I thought she wouldn’t need those mice anymore once she had me.”

So I started telling my daughter about the real life of Cinderella.. the story of AFTER she became Mrs. Charming. I don’t tell her that they would have been better off if they had not met at a Ball.. I don’t tell her that there is no such thing as love at first sight… and I don’t tell her they should not have ever married…

What I do tell her?

I tell her that if Cinderella goes into that fairy tale marriage knowing that there will be issues? If she spends time talking to her prince instead of just dancing the nights away.. if she expects him to not be perfect? Then she can still expect a happy ending…

… and maybe… JUST maybe they won’t still have that baggage to pass along to Charmella and Prince Cinder.

So when I am reading Cinderella to my future grandkids? Should I change the words from “Happily Ever After” to “And then they walked hand in hand through life battling, whatEVER life threw at them, together”…? Ha.. maybe not… it doesn’t exactly have the same poetic effect…

…but I do think I will continue to tell them Cinderella’s sequel…

Life

The small stuff…

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In my life I ALWAYS celebrate the small stuff.. I make little goals and update them often.. When my son said his first 2 word “sentence” at 5 years old ? We celebrated.. Then I set my goal to using a “sentence” every day. When my daughter read her first book solo.. at 5 years? We celebrated… then we set our goal to reading a book (solo) everyday.  When my son told me he was mad .. Instead of melting down? YUP!! We celebrated! (I admit my son looked confused when his mom laughed and hugged him for saying “I’m mad at you.”) We celebrated and then talked about what made him mad.

When my daughter stood up to the bully who had pestered her for years..? Ok.. that was a BIG thing.. but still we celebrated.

Big goals sometimes take too long to accomplish.. and admit it.. If goals are too hard, sometimes we give up.  So by keeping my goals small? My milestones achievable? Yup.. I tend to celebrate a lot.

Which is healthy…at least I think it is…

As an author, I celebrate each milestone too.. especially with book selling! Yesterday Shadows broke through the ranking of 100k on amazon’s best selling ranking. Doesn’t sound that great really, lol. I know.. I know.. it sounds like Shadows is barely floating. But to me it is a small goal. Ranked #100,000 out of a million books? It’s the top 10%.. To me that’s great..

SOO.. Yesterday I celebrated reaching my milestone…

Today? Today I set my next goal to keep my ranking up to 100k..

What am I celebrating today?

Today I am celebrating that I am only 16 “likes” away from 200 followers on my facebook page.. Once I meet that? Yup.. keep aiming higher…. one teeny tiny step at a time..

I love celebrating the small stuff..

Interesting in checking out Shadows? Here is my Amazon link.. and where you can get a free sample. 

Writing

A piece of myself…

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siblings...
siblings…

One of my readers informed me that they could tell a lot about my personality from my book… Ha ha… I think that this is especially true by reading the sections of Shadows with Mark and Seth. I think that my greatest gift in life was siblings.. not only brothers but my sister as well.. Unfortunately, Emma’s story just didn’t lend itself to having a sister in it…

Enjoy the following sample from Shadows….

When the vegetables were almost tender, Emma went out and rang the dinner bell. “Everythin’ will be done by the time they make it in from the field,” she figured.

“I made it in time fer dinner?” came a voice close by.

She turned in the direction of the road to see James walking toward her. Emma laughed at the hope in his expression. “It’s like you’ve a clock in yer belly.”

“Is yer family still in the field?” he asked.

“Yea. I canna leave my bread bakin’ ta take them lunch today,” she explained. “They should be in shortly.”

“Anythin’ ya need help with or should I head out ta meet `em?” James asked.

Emma thought about his question. “I’ve only the wash tub ta refill, if ya want ta make sure my Da and brothers heard the dinner bell ringin’,” she suggested.

“Seth can hear that dinner bell over any sound, no matter how quietly ya ring it,” James said with a laugh. “Let me go check ta see iffen they’re headed in, then I’ll fill the wash tub fer ya.”

“Thank ya,” Emma said. She returned to the kitchen. She could smell that her bread was done baking, so she pulled it from the oven and set another loaf in its place. Then she drained the vegetables, replacing the lid to keep them warm until the menfolk came in. She had just set the plates around the table, when James came in toting a bucket full of water for the wash tub.

“They are headed in. Should be close ta the front field by now,” James reported as he headed out the door with the empty bucket.

“I’ll dish it up when they come in.”

“It sure smells good,” James said eagerly.

Emma laughed softly, “Now ya sound like Seth.”

James laughed too, as he left through the door.

When James returned again, her father and brothers were with him.

“Sorry ta make ya come in fer dinner. I couldna leave my bread bakin’,” she explained to her family.

“We were needin’ a break from the sun, Emma girl,” Da answered.

“This smells better than a picnic lunch anyhow,” Seth decided, inhaling deeply.

Emma met James eyes and they laughed. Seth’s words were almost the same as the ones James had used earlier. Da saw the shared joke and raised his eyebrow at James. Emma had turned back to start serving up the plates and missed the exchange.

Once everyone was seated, her Da blessed the food and everyone started eating heartily.

“We noticed the raccoons are back in the fields. They did a fair amount of damage ta the cornfield by the woods last night,” Da told Emma. “So we’ll probably be sittin’ out there tonight.”

Nodding in understanding, Emma started planning what food she would send out with the boys.

“Ya interested in joinin’ us, James?” Mark added.

James agreed easily. “Wished I woulda known earlier, I could’ve jest stayed on inta the night.”

“We could send Emma inta town with a message fer yer Pa,” Seth suggested.

“I’ll not ask her ta make that trip in this heat,” James said. “Besides she’s bread ta bake.”

Emma gave him a thankful smile. She was already dreading the trip to the mercantile that she knew was coming up. An added trip was not appealing to her.

“Speakin’ of bread,” Seth said suggestively. “Can I have a slice with my dinner?”

Emma put her fork down and pushed her chair back from the table. Reaching for a loaf that was cool enough to slice, she heard a whispered comment that made her smile.

“Rotten kid. Let her eat her food while it’s warm,” James said.

“Jest asked fer bread,” Seth responded confused.

Their father laughed at his expression.

“It’s fine,” Emma insisted. Setting the plate of sliced bread on the table, she sat back in her chair.

Just as she was putting a bite to her mouth, Seth asked with a impish smile, “Could I have butter on mine?”

Emma froze mid-bite, just in time to see Mark smack Seth in the back of the neck. James slid his chair back and retrieved the butter crock before she could even respond. She tried to keep her smile hidden as Seth rubbed the back of his neck. “Never dull at mealtime,” she thought to herself.

**DISCLOSURE*** No brothers were harmed in the making of this book…

(If you would like to read more… Click here for links to BUY Shadows.)

Life

Faith like a child

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Warrior child...
Warrior child…

One of my nephews is 3 years old.. Bright blue eyes, amazing smile.. Generous heart and so funny. And he has a tumor behind his right eye. It’s not cancerous. So, although it is scary for us (his family), it isn’t really life threatening. But he still has to endure chemotherapy treatments for 18 months. Treatments that could save his optic nerve from further damage.

6 months into chemotherapy treatments..? I have learned a great deal from watching this boy and his parents. You see this boy..? This little warrior? He has to do a great many things that are hard.. Hard and painful.. And sometimes just not fun. But he does them. He gets cranky, tired and restless … But he does them…

This little warrior accepts what he has to do .. And just does it..

Why?!?

Because his daddy and mommy tell him that this is the way to keep his eyesight.. And although it is hard (for all of them) they have to do it because they love him.

And through eye exams, MRI’s, chemo port installation, long doctor visits, hospitalizations, painful port accesses… I have seen tears in their eyes more than once. But they keep on moving forward .. Having faith that everything will be beautiful in its time.

Why does this boy just accept all this as necessary?

Because his parents told him that this is the way it has to be. That in the end? In the end being able to see .. will be beautiful.

Does that mean he never asks “why?”

No.

Does that mean he never cries?

No.

Does that mean he never states he doesn’t want to go for more tests?

No.

But he still does.

Jesus tells us that he wants us to have faith like a child.

Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” (‭Luke‬ ‭18‬:‭17‬ NIV)

I didn’t understand that verse clearly until this year. I didn’t understand it until I watched the faith this child .. This little warrior ..has in his parents.

You see my nephew trusts that his parents know what is best for him. He trusts that this is the best plan because they told him it was. And no matter how much he doesn’t enjoy it, he trusts that his parents know that everything will be perfect in the end.

Is my faith like this child?

Ha.. I wish it was.. I want it to be..

But sometimes my heart cries out “why Father?” Why does my son have to struggle so? Why does my nephew have to suffer these treatments? Why do things happen that make me sad? Why?

Then? Then I always pray that God will take my doubts from me.. Take them so that I can just move forward and know that everything will be good in the end.. So that I can trust that my Heavenly Father knows this is the only way. That my Father knows everything will be Beautiful in the end.

Only when those doubts are replaced by total trust.. Only then will I have faith like a child.

THAT is what I have learned from watching my little warrior.

Uncategorized

Stranger than fiction…

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1800 books..
1800 books..

I love to read! And I read everything.. YES I really mean everything!! I read children’s books, I read teen fiction.. I read fantasy, I read young adult.. I read self-help, I read non-fiction… I read historical fiction.. and non-fiction.. I read futuristic sci-fi.. English literature… Old lit, new lit….

I read anything…

I don’t LIKE everything I read.. but I still have to finish..

It is actually addictive. My first and only real addiction. An addiction that, at times in my life, keeps me from being productive and functioning. I had to learn to control it.. and believe me there are NO nicotine patches to help Reading Addicts. No Readers Anonymous groups. Some people (maybe even you) think that I am funny to even try to curb my addiction. However, I KNEW that I had (ok.. ok.. I HAVE) a problem.. and I KNEW that I needed to control it. And control it I have.

Now, I can’t give up reading.. that would be like asking me to give up breathing.. but I have learned to keep it to free time.

..well mostly…

Through my years of reading I can honestly say TWO things..

FIRST.. Students miss out on so much History because we insist that they learn all the “dates”. I honestly can’t tell you the exact month and day the civil war ended. But I can tell you why the Civil War started.. why it was important to our history.. and why it was different than any other war we fought. I could tell you that they used Maggots for Medicinal purposes.. and that the North was over dressed. Students can learn so much from our History.. but instead most of them hate it… Is this our teachers faults? Absolutely not.. it is because the schools rely on test results for funding. And what are ON those tests? Exactly… Dates!

SECOND.. Fact is stranger than fiction. In point of truth.. all my research shows that History? OUR History… is stranger than fiction. Strange weather phenomenons… wildcat attacks in Michigan… a trend to abduct the girl next door so she would be forced to marry you? These are all facts. And shoving maggots into gunshot wounds during the civil war? While turning my stomach.. I still find it interesting that this FACT saved so many lives..

In fact, when you read about all the things that pioneers in this country did? When you read about the things they saw.. what they lived through? It makes my life seem so boring.. so sheltered.  And while the pioneers’ lives were much shorter in 1860? While the Civil War soldiers may have died fighting for what they believed in at a young age? They still lived much fuller lives that I am…

So my goal this year is to go out and actually LIVE my life .. as fully as they did their short ones. And hopefully encourage others to do so as well….

Uncategorized

2014 in review

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog. It feels like a report card.. Yikes..

Just thought I would share .. If you are interested (that is) ..

I hope your Christmas was Merry!!! And have a Happy New Year!

Jules

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,300 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 55 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Life

Don’t go in there..

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My adrenaline was pumping (pretty healthily, I may add) this morning as I drove along the snow covered roads. A couple of the drifted areas were enough to make me hold my breath. By the time I arrived at my kids’ school to drop them off, I was exhausted.

That first snowy drive of the season is always the worst… but after today? After today I will be used to it… Slow and steady will get me there… Slow and steady will keep us safe.

Snowy roads are NOT the roads I dread though.

Nope..

The road conditions I wish I could avoid completely would be fog.

Fog? you ask. (I saw you raise your eyebrow)..

Yes fog!!!

You see snow covered roads make you prepare for battle… You know to leave early… you know to drive slower… no sudden steering changes… no sudden stopping… You basically leave the house with a complete manual on how to win against the snowy road conditions. And?!? And you can see where you are going.. what you are up against.

But with fog?

Yes fog is beautiful!  It is so neat to be able to walk “among the clouds”.. while keeping your feet planted firmly on the ground. It is so cool to run your hands through the heavenly clouds and see what the “heavens” feels like.  You look out the window and those clouds, from the heavens above, give the world around you an unearthly look and feel. It’s eerie and spooky.. but still kind of cool.

But that isn’t why I don’t like to drive in fog… it’s not that it creeps me out.

When you drive in the snow.. you at least have partial visibility of what you are up against. You can be prepared.

With fog?

With fog you have nothing. You don’t leave the driveway with a game plan, a battle manual…

You have no idea what is up ahead… so how can you prepare? Sometimes I pause at the end of my driveway.. take a deep breath… and breathe a prayer to God that I am putting our lives .. and my car in His capable hands. Because to me? To me.. driving in Fog is the ultimate leap of Faith.

It is the ultimate reminder that we are not the ones in control.

Everything can change in the blink of an eye..

Then?!? Then prepared to drive by Faith… I pull my car onto the fog enclosed road.

You know that part in a suspense movie?!? The part where the kids are looking for their lost friend and they know the answer lays down that foggy path to the creepy house? And you are yelling at them NOT TO GO IN THERE.. but still they tiptoe forward.. Tiptoeing in hopes to sneak past any danger.. tiptoeing because their brains are telling them the same thing.. whispering “don’t go in there”, over the loud pounding heartbeats.. Tiptoeing because they don’t want to go down that road at all…

That is what I feel like starting down that foggy road.. “Let’s not do this,” my heart whispers.. “who knows what we will encounter?” and then “what if we aren’t prepared? Maybe we should just stay to home..”

That is where the prayer of Faith comes in…. I simply pray that God takes my doubts away so that I can be prepared to meet what ever curve, puddle, branch, stop or deer God has chosen to be in my path. To not be so wrapped up in the “What if’s” that my mind will be clear for the actually obstacles as they appear through the fog.

A prayer for clear headed faith.. for a drive in Faith….

Fog covered roads are like our future.. all we can see is what is immediately before us.. like the next 15 mins.

We can take care of those 15 mins.. take care of those immediate needs. But beyond that? Beyond that you are operating on faith. You can apply this concept to anything in your life.

Especially parenting.. As you driving along that foggy road of parenting.. with your children safely buckled in the backseat? Here comes a sharp right hand curve.. SPECIAL NEEDS…  Next comes something blocking your path.. branches, water puddle.. or a cow… and you have to stop and clear the path… EMERGENCY SURGERY… Or a detour sign. A sign pointing away from the easy road ahead and telling you to go down the road less travelled by.. SPECIAL DIETS. Or my personal fear.. a washed away road (a cliff)… When you chose the wrong road and now you have to turn your car around.. like when we chose the wrong Meds to treat my son’s mood disorder.

The marriage road is equally foggy.. you could encounter financial difficulties, parenting struggles.. along with finding old baggage in the road ahead….

On your career path you encounter disinterest, promotions, layoffs, new bosses…

YUP.. When you drive on ANY road through life.. it is exactly like that foggy road… You drive it by Faith. You drive knowing that you are not in control.. only God is.

This year I published a book.

Writing has been my whole life.. publishing a book is the ultimate dream. But when I headed down that publishing road?

You guess it…

When I pulled up to the beginning of that fog covered road to publishing a book? I paused.. (Ok.. really I didn’t just pause.. I put my car in park… I got out and walked around to the front of my car… then I knelt down in fear.. staring out into the eerie white clouds blocking my view.  Like if I stared long enough, God would make a break in the fog and let me see the end of the road. But then I got back in my car…) I took a deep breath (or two..)… and breathed a prayer to God to help me trust Him..  A prayer telling God that I was placing my book into his capable hands to do with as He willed.

Was that easy?

Ahhh.. no…

In theory? In theory every Christian will tell you they trust God to steer their life according to His Will. But it is still hard. I want to plead with God to help my book to sell REALLY WELL because I have a message to tell. I want to argue that I believe that girls need to read stories where there are no Fairy Godmothers to smooth over the edges.. no happily ever afters awaiting in the wings… That girls need to see examples of how relationships and marriage are hard work.. acts of faith.. acts of love.. but are completely worth it..

With the financial commitment and the time commitment of publishing looming in the fog? What if God doesn’t want to use my lifetime’s work RIGHT NOW? Or what if He doesn’t want to use it at all? What if I put my best work forward and it isn’t good enough? These are the fears that all of us face.. The fear of the foggy path… HOW WILL THIS END?

SHOULD I GO IN THERE??

..and your heart full of dread whispering to you.. “Don’t do it. Don’t go down that path… it may not be worth it.”

So why would I do it? Why would I get into my car .. and inch down that foggy road? Driving only by Faith alone?

Because of a promise God made me..

A promise God made to all of us…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

This is the promise I have built my world around this year.. The promise that powers my car as I drive down that foggy road.. and it is the promise that I built my book around.

Yes.. Shadows is about Emma’s journey down a foggy road.. a road she travels by Faith… knowing that God has a plan for her.. a plan that she knows NOTHING about.. only that the path will be hard and full of intense emotions and choices… but in the end?  In the end, God’s plan for Emma does not harm her.. it makes her stronger… and it gives her a future. A future full of hope. Not a happily ever after ending! Why? Because there is always another foggy road.. always another walk of Faith..

So if I want my book about taking that first step of Faith.. onto that foggy road.. to succeed??

How can I not take those steps of faith myself?

Writing

Answers…

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Recently.. I launched my book, Shadows, into the world. To make it a momentous occasion, some friends of mine helped me host a book signing. I made sure I had books available to purchase.. I made sure I had pens to personally sign each book… We made coffee and cookies… And I decided I would give a brief talk.. followed by a question and answer opportunity. To prepare myself, I asked my Facebook friends and family what questions they would ask me. Things that they were curious to know. I used these questions at the launching… and I was asked many more.

After the Book Launching day passed.. I received messages from people who wished they could have come hear me speak. I understand this feeling. Life is so busy that it is impossible to do everything we would like to do. But in this one instance? In this instance, I can share a few of the questions (and answers) I talked about…

Here are a few of the most frequently asked…

#1.  Is Shadows a continuation of your blog site?

Short answer… No!

Long answer… My blog site is made up of short stories from my life. Simply put.. it’s non-fiction.  My thoughts, my memories, my sorrows, my hardships.. from the real life of Jules Nelson.  Shadows is my first published work of fiction. It is about the thoughts, memories, sorrows and hardships of a fictional young lady named Emma Fern Wells. And while many people enjoy reading about the lives of both, they are NOT one and the same.

#2. What made you want to write a book?

Short answer … I am a writer. It is nice to put the works of my brain on paper.

Long answer… As long as I can remember, I have always wanted to write a book.  Ever since I was a little girl, I have made up characters and mapped out their stories. Where ever I was, my mind would slip into my writer’s world. Whether I was folding laundry.. or washing dishes.. or raking leaves.. or vacuuming.. or sweeping… my mind would be a million miles away.. Sometimes hundreds of years away. Wondering how a young lady would do the same task 100 years earlier. OR wondering if a young lady would have been allowed to do that task…  YES.. you can imagine that my mother was annoyed with me on more than one occasion… Everything I did was done to perfection.. but it took FOREVER.  When I was old enough to write things down.. I did.. I often filled notebooks full of stories.  My first stories just rambled.. weaving and wobbling along with no particular direction. By my teen years, I had gotten the hang of sticking to a plot.

#3.  If you have been writing since childhood.. why did it take you so long to complete a novel?

Short answer… Life.

Long answer… Life during high school and college is so busy.. and packed full of activities.. there was NO time to write. I kept my usual journal for awhile… but that too fell by the wayside after a few years. Then I met my wonderful husband.. and had my 2 amazing kids. These 3 people consumed my life for a time. When my son was diagnosed with Autism, all my research went into learning new therapies and new concepts. Even when life was at its busiest, I never stopped making up stories. I would develop characters and tell adventures with them to my daughter. Make up new endings to terrible movies. But until recently? Until my husband’s job brought our family home to Michigan, my life was not simple enough for me to write a book.

#4. What inspired you to write Shadows?

Short answer… Hmm.. there isn’t one.

Long answer… I love History. Not the type of history that you learn in the classroom.. not all the dates and facts.. But history ITSELF. The clothes they wore in a certain time period.. What those particular clothes said about a person… How you could often tell what class a person was in by the clothes they wore… How they cooked… What they ate…

Whenever I learn something new, I try to tie it back to something I already knew. For instance, wagon trains were going on before and after the civil war. These were NOT two separate time periods .. but one and the same.  So to head off to join the war? They traveled for WEEKS by wagon or horseback to meet up with the army.

There are photographs of the soldiers during the civil war. A strange mixture of primitive conditions. Pictures of living in tents and cooking over fires. Pictures of women washing the officer’s clothes. The more I thought about the photos… the more I thought about how SOME of these soldiers could have been on a wagon train. How none of the scenes in these pictures would have been unusual for them. They would have slept in tents.. and cooked over fires.. and washed clothes in any creek they could find. The more I thought about the soldiers.. the more I thought about the wives they left behind..

And then I decided that SOMEONE should write their story.. the story of the wives left behind to do the job of pioneer woman and man both.. left behind to do it all alone, in most cases. And I decided that I could do it.

#5. When did you know you would write Shadows?

Short answer.. As soon as I developed Emma’s character… and had a dream about her.

Long answer… Shadows is actually the prequel to the story I want to write about the civil war wives. The more I developed the character of Emma.. the young mother who will be left behind.. the more I longed to tell her story from the beginning. When I had a dream about the person she would have been? I woke up with the firm decision that I would start with Emma…. that I would write Shadows before I wrote Ashes… I would write where she came from.. who she was… write about how God shaped her character..

#6. Do you plan to write another book soon?

Short answer… Yes.

Long answer… I am already writing the next book. Shadows is the first of 3 books that follow Emma’s life. The next book.. the ONE that I am currently working on… will follow Emma’s first year of marriage (no spoilers here.. so I won’t tell you who she marries). I am hoping to have this second book, Road Home, finished by Spring 2015. The third book will follow Emma as the Civil War breaks out. When her young husband leaves her behind to take care of their growing family and the farm.

#7. Where do you find ideas for your books?

Short answer… Everywhere..

Long answer… Everywhere… Research… ballads… undeveloped characters in other novels… phrases in songs that leave you thinking.. photographs… pretty much anywhere…

#8. What is the most important aspects of writing?

Short answer… Details… and editing.

Long answer… Details!  Lots of details.. If I can explain my story the way I see it in my mind? If I can describe my characters so that you can “see” them as you read? If I can do that? Well, then you won’t want to put my pages down. That is when my story becomes a book.  AND THEN? And then I edit to make sure my words say EXACTLY what I want them to say. Nothing slows down a reader more than typing errors.. or words used in the wrong context.(I know this because I love to read.) So details and editing.

#9. How much (if any) does Shadows reflect your life experiences? 

Short answer… A little…

Long answer… Emma’s faith is similar to mine. Unwavering and simple. I trust the Lord to provide for my needs.. and so does Emma. Emma has brothers.. and so do I. Brothers who are protective, supportive and loving.. Other than that? Other than that, Shadows reflects my life long pursuit of knowledge and everything history.

#10. What was your most life changing experience about writing this book (Shadows)?

Short answer.. Peace.

Long answer… Writing this book was exciting and fun… and fulfilling. But the most life changing experience would be the peace I feel. Writing is what I was meant to do.. and it feels so good to be doing it.

I hope you all have read Shadows.. and I hope you really enjoyed it.

Keep the questions coming.. but for now…

I need to get back to writing…

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Inside Shadows..

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IMG_7878-0.JPGAuthors are mysterious people.. Citizens who live in secretive places .. with secretive lives.. right?

Well …that isn’t me.

I am just an average Joe (or Joe-etta)! I’m the mom who donates all her daughter’s old books to the school library.. in a sweatshirt and jeans.. and a messy ponytail. (gasp– shocking I know).. I’m the lady who you pass on the road, singing her heart out. I’m the stranger who smiles at the toddlers in grocery carts… and yes.. I am the lady who cries in the lobby of the school when her son has a hard day.

I am NOT mysterious at all.

So maybe I can’t really be an author?!?

HOWEVER… I have written a book.. Shadows!!! (note the extremely proud.. and excited smile.. almost like it is my newborn child)… and four months later?!? Four months after contacting a publisher .. it is published. On that day?  The day that my book, Shadows, went “Live” online? YUP… I was the lady doing the happy dance .. in her pj’s! I was so happy to have that long process done.. and so happy to be able to introduce my beloved characters to the world.

Now if you are looking for spoilers for Shadows?? Then you would be in the wrong place… I love that no one expects the twists and turns in my book. I love that readers say they (literally) can’t put Shadows down. I love that my friends call me to say they love where Shadows leaves off.. but that they couldn’t have predicted the ending. And if I gave you spoilers?? Well that would.. umm… “spoil” the surprise for you… So in a sense.. by not giving you spoilers.. I am giving you a gift.

But this morning? This morning as I sit here, sipping my chai.. all warm and cozy in my favorite sweater and my thick.. warm.. wool socks.. I realize that I can really identify with Emma..

Shadows follows the life of Emma.. Emma Fern Wells… Emma feels she is plain. Plain with no distinguishing characteristics. Everything about her is average… and she is ok with this. Add to this that Emma is busy.. so busy that she feels like she has no identity.. no chance at being noticed by anyone. And she accepts this.. content for now. It sounds dramatic.. but it isn’t! Emma just… exists…

I can relate to Emma… In my life I don’t stand out.. and I like it that way. Why? Well.. because I like to watch people and observe their natural behaviors. When you don’t stand out? Well… everyone relaxes around you. It’s a wonderful life! And I understand busy.. (Ok.. my husband says I crave busy.. While I don’t know that I would go so far.. I will admit I volunteer my time freely.)

But here is where our similarities stop..

For one.. Emma is young.. (alas.. with 2 children taller than me.. I cannot claim youth.. Although I am not sure at what point I became “not young”.. hmm?? I seem to have missed the transition)..

Beyond that?? Emma stays focused on her work long enough to finish each task.. She lets her mind wonder while she churns her butter .. but her feet stay firmly planted. Me??? Well the chapter in Shadows .. the one where Emma burns the cookies? Sigh.. that describes me much better.. especially when I am in the mood to write..

Now.. I placed this young (and focused) girl in the community of Vermontville, Michigan.. shortly after it was settled.. so 1850 era. I used common names in this valley.. common family names… and the fact that it was a farming community.. Then? Then my book took flight… the characters came alive… I laughed with them.. cried with them.. and fell in love with them..

But the storyline? I have had that in me for awhile.. long before I moved to this picturesque valley. Where do my stories come from? Sometimes from a section of a song.. you know the phrase that has you wondering what happened in the songwriter’s life that would make them write it? My ideas are sometimes born in that moment. Sometimes when I see people in public.. with happiness or love.. or worry.. painted on their face.. Ideas are sometimes born in their emotions. Sometimes when I read other books.. by other authors.. the characters that are overlooked.. the storylines they leave undeveloped.. ideas are just waiting to be born there.. Sometimes during research, I will come across old traditions, commonplace crimes of the times, historic events, natural disasters.. weird unexplained phenomenons… I have found these facts to be a lot stranger (and more unpredictable) than fiction. In these facts.. stories are just begging to be told.

But a lot of the time? Ha.. a lot of my story ideas are born from my dreams.

I have some of the craziest.. most vivid dreams.. Dreams that seem so real.. I am still thinking about them when I wake. In fact, well into my day.. I will still be wondering how they would have ended. From these dreams? YUP.. the best of my ideas are born.

But storylines aren’t straight.. they curve.. and stop… They veer off.. and merge with other storylines.. THIS “maze” of storylines?  This is what makes a good story.. This is what kept me up typing until my eyes wouldn’t stay open.. This is what prompted me to take a notebook with me to every appointment.. every meeting… every spare second that I could jot down notes…

Confused?

Ok.. take my life… I am so excited about my book being published!?! So excited that I do a crazy book lady dance every time there is a “first” in my life.. First book sold online.. first blog read in a new country.. first book sold overseas.. first review posted online… etc.. you get the picture. But my excitement? It doesn’t overwhelm me like you would think.. Why? Because life doesn’t travel in a straight line. I have kids.. I have a family… I have responsibilities.. ha…. I have LAUNDRY…  and right now I have a 3 year old nephew who has to have 18 months of chemotherapy. If those things didn’t affect my excitement? Well? Then I would be a robot..

In order for Emma to be realistic? In order for this character to seem ALIVE… she has to let her surroundings affect her. She has to let her friend’s life-changes affect her thoughts. She has to let her previous encounters effect her future actions. She HAS to let her emotions affect her choices…

If I can make Emma comes “alive” for a reader? Then they won’t be able to put her “life” .. her story.. down. They will want to keep reading until they know how her story ends..

.. and for me… life doesn’t end..

So neither does Emma’s story….