Tracks..

 

after the storm..

I love to walk through my yard after a snow storm blows through. I know that you’ll agree that it’s always the prettiest when the snow is fresh and the sun shining bright.  But I am not always looking up to see the beauty.

Where else would I look (you ask)??

I am usually looking down.

You see.. while we are all bundled up inside our houses? All warm and safe? The world outside isn’t always as quiet as we think.

The first time I took water and food to my chickens.. right after a snow storm?? I stopped in surprise. All around me were paw prints and tracks through the snow. Trails going in all directions.  I saw squirrel tracks… and rabbit… deer trails by the dozens.. and coyote tracks on more than a few occasions.

Why would I find it cool to find coyote tracks in my backyard??

Well? Honestly they didn’t bother anything.. so why not?

The house that my husband works hard to provide for us.. and the protection that God gives us .. keeps us safe at night. So sometimes I find it interesting to see what dangers may have pass us by, in the night.

I sometimes think of my Faith as a type of house.

We sit inside of houses of Faith.. all safe and warm.. and blissfully unaware of the dangers that God directs around us. And unless we go outside our houses? Well unless we go out in our backyards.. we wouldn’t even know what dangers passed us right on by.

So why doesn’t God show us the dangers He protects us from? It certainly would scare more people into having Faith. But God says He wants us to come to Him willingly and freely. So He keeps those tracks hidden.

Now you are probably thinking.. What about the bad things that happen to those with Faith? Does that mean their Faith failed them?

I don’t have the answers to that.

I have had my share of troubles in this world. Bad experiences, medical emergencies, scares… I could go on.. and on…  So does that mean that I lacked Faith and God kept His protection to Himself?

Nope.

I felt protection. I was overwhelmed.. but felt protected.

The Bible promises us that “Everything will Be Beautiful in its time.” But until that time? Until the moment that I realize why bad things happen to the Faithful?

Until then, I will count the number of trails that go away from my house.. and be thankful for them.

Feeling good .. 

So I don’t usually like to post pictures of myself.. (I don’t really photograph well anyway.. As is the evidence in the pictures included).. And I don’t put much stock in physical appearance .. But today I have decided to make an exception..

6 months later

Some of my friends have been following my journey over the last year.. Some have followed it since further back.. I have some of the best supporters .. And I have some skeptics in my life..

But here is the truth of my journey..

My whole life I have fought with eating and being hungry.. But in a different way then usual. You see? I am never hungry and would often forget to eat until evening. If I forgot to eat 3 meals a day?? Well then I would gain anywhere between 1-3 pounds a DAY.. It was very frustrating for me.

While I lived in Missouri a doctor started treating my thyroid and it helped some.. Until the meds stopped working..

This last summer I finally went to the nutritionist that I take my kids to. He tested me for food intolerances and vitamin deficiencies .. Among others.. And he suggested a different approach to treating my thyroid.

I won’t give you the LONG story (unless you ask).. but 6 months later? 6 months later I feel great..

I have people who tell me the “fuss” isn’t worth it.. I have others who say I look amazing and to keep it up..

But to me? Not feeling sick when I eat.. Having more energy?? That is all that matters!! Being skinny isn’t important to me.. And having people tell me I look good is only mildly rewarding..

What does matter is when a friend told me my eyes looked clear and “alive”.. THAT is the reason I will continue to eat this crazy “eating lifestyle” and continue using natural medicine ..

 .. Everything else is just a bonus..

We got by.. 

  
Yesterday was a long day for My Simon.. We jam packed every minute full.. And he had to get through his whole day at school knowing what he had “endure”… But after getting through his school day (albeit loudly)… And was somewhat patient through my Audition workshop after school.. I watched him walk independently into his trombone lessons with a new instructor.. And he rocked it.. 
I know some of you are probably thinking ..”ok?!? My kid does that everyday..” And that makes me happy.. I love to see kids be successful whether it comes easy for them or if it’s more of a struggle.. But for my boy? He struggled to learn even basic skills like talking.. Doors were always a struggle to walk through.. But he was drawing by age 18 months.. He could write the whole alphabet .. But not utter a word.. So yes! We celebrate every success..

This morning I have been thinking back to my early years as Simon’s mom.. When it felt like it was me and Sy against the world.. When I could see my boy so clearly at home (when it was just us).. Only to watch how he would disappear when we walked through the doors to go into the outside world… 

This song that the Johnny Orr Band sings (We’ll get By).. Makes me tear up for 2 reasons.. First because I remember that feeling.. Being close to tears of frustration SO often but knowing that we were going to make it. Secondly? Because we have gotten by.. And we have come so far. 

Simon has come so far from the boy who needed to be held in public because the stimulation made him bury his face into my shoulder.. Watching him walk through a “door”.. into a room with a new person.. and being successful at showing his skill with his trombone?? Yup.. we’ve gotten by.. 

  
But before you tell me how great of a mother I am.. His success isn’t mine.. God has always put some of the best people into Simon’s life (and mine).. People who help challenge him and support him.. But mostly? Mostly.. Simon is one of the strongest people I know.. He holds himself to such high standards and pushes himself forward when I am tempted to let him have a “break”.. 

So while I have shed so many tears of frustration .. while trying “to get by”.. I wouldn’t have traded a single one.. I love the son I was Blessed with..