Tag Archives: struggles

…selfish…

When we go to camp with my family? Chances are some small animal will be captured within the first day..

That animal?

Whether it’s a frog or a toad.. a snake.. or once even a lizard… That poor animal will be handled from one kid to the next.. making each kid enormously happy.. and making the animal enormously stressed.

Fortunately most animals take the stress well and just learn to carry on.. and well? .. I’m sure they will hide better when they hear the pitter-patter of little feet.

In some ways I know how the toad in this photo feels…

I love to make people happy.. especially my family .. especially the little ones. So by taking the little Blessings in my life for fun rides.. walks.. to make sand castles… to hunt for small defenseless animals … and to make snacks.. ? Tell stories around the campfire…?

It feels good.. I love to see them happy. In fact?

In fact it seems selfish of me NOT to do little things to make them happy.. It seems so selfish not to use my time to make the lives of other people better and happier places. So I have always avoided being selfish..

And I am always happy with my choices..

But at times?

At times I think I know how that toad feels.. over handled.. tired.. desperately in need of a shower..

Just recently I have been learning that there is a difference between being selfish with your time..

…and taking time to care for yourself..

You see.. if I have to choose between doing something for my kids and doing something for myself..? I will pick my kids.. and squeeze reading for pleasure in between bedtime and 1 am.

But I often do too much .. for too many people.. and I just end up feeling tired.. and overhandled.. just like the toad..

Last weekend we went camping for the last time this summer. As everyone planned a kayak trip down river, my niece came to ask me if I wanted to go.

In the past? I would always Loan my kayak to someone else.. because after all..

it IS my kayak.. I could use it another time.

As I started to offer it to someone else, my niece scolded me. And said frankly.. ” You KNOW you want to go kayaking.”

You know what?

I really DID want to go kayaking.

So I loaded up my kayak.. and we went kayaking..

This was the laziest, slowest kayak trip I have ever been on.. I got to take 300 pictures (no exaggeration there).. my nieces and nephew decided on trying to kayak the “gondola” way.. we got stuck a few times..

We got a little sunburned as our 1 hour trip turned in to 2 hours.. or 3…

We laughed.. we sang songs (loudly and beautifully)… we counted how many times the gondolas tipped over… and we let the peace flow into our souls..

What about you? What have you done lately to take care of yourself?

**No animals were hurt in the making of this blog…

Tracks..

 

after the storm..

I love to walk through my yard after a snow storm blows through. I know that you’ll agree that it’s always the prettiest when the snow is fresh and the sun shining bright.  But I am not always looking up to see the beauty.

Where else would I look (you ask)??

I am usually looking down.

You see.. while we are all bundled up inside our houses? All warm and safe? The world outside isn’t always as quiet as we think.

The first time I took water and food to my chickens.. right after a snow storm?? I stopped in surprise. All around me were paw prints and tracks through the snow. Trails going in all directions.  I saw squirrel tracks… and rabbit… deer trails by the dozens.. and coyote tracks on more than a few occasions.

Why would I find it cool to find coyote tracks in my backyard??

Well? Honestly they didn’t bother anything.. so why not?

The house that my husband works hard to provide for us.. and the protection that God gives us .. keeps us safe at night. So sometimes I find it interesting to see what dangers may have pass us by, in the night.

I sometimes think of my Faith as a type of house.

We sit inside of houses of Faith.. all safe and warm.. and blissfully unaware of the dangers that God directs around us. And unless we go outside our houses? Well unless we go out in our backyards.. we wouldn’t even know what dangers passed us right on by.

So why doesn’t God show us the dangers He protects us from? It certainly would scare more people into having Faith. But God says He wants us to come to Him willingly and freely. So He keeps those tracks hidden.

Now you are probably thinking.. What about the bad things that happen to those with Faith? Does that mean their Faith failed them?

I don’t have the answers to that.

I have had my share of troubles in this world. Bad experiences, medical emergencies, scares… I could go on.. and on…  So does that mean that I lacked Faith and God kept His protection to Himself?

Nope.

I felt protection. I was overwhelmed.. but felt protected.

The Bible promises us that “Everything will Be Beautiful in its time.” But until that time? Until the moment that I realize why bad things happen to the Faithful?

Until then, I will count the number of trails that go away from my house.. and be thankful for them.

Stay on the Path…

Sometimes I look back at some of my blogs and re-read them.. A friend of mine was talking about how much my “Stay on the Path” blog touched her.. 

So?? 

I opened it up and re-read it..

At the time I wrote it.. I had been only think about the aspects of being a mother of a child with special needs. But today? Today I realize it could count for any number of my struggles in life..

And lately my path has been really icy..

Stay on the Path…. (For anyone who hasn’t read it)